So, things have been improving little by little lately.

Some new challenges have appeared, but some old ones have disappeared... or, at least they had.

About two months ago, I decided to start "changing my life". It worked, for the most part. It was strange though... before when I had tried to do anything like that... it had been very very difficult, and I usually gave up in a matter of days or weeks. This time, however, it was relatively easy. What I didn't realize was there was a key element in all of this. One thing... well, person, really... that controled whether or not I was to succeed.

The day that I stopped associating with this person, we'll call them red, was the day that I 'started to change my life'. This was not on purpose. I didn't really want to end things with red... it just sort of happened. And, usually, not associating with red was the worst thing ever... it drove me insane.
This time, however, I was too preoccupied to even notice that so much time had gone by.

That is, until today. Today I recieved a message from red. It was simple, and short. Nothing hostile or profound about it... in fact, all it really said was hey. It haunted me all day, and I didn't know why... until now.

I have somehow subconciously related all of the 'bad things' that I was doing/were going on, with red. By not talking to red, I stopped thinking about those things. With the short message, those things were brought back in full strength.

Now, to fully understand this, you need to understand that Red and I have a very rocky history. In fact, I could write a book... in fact, I think I have. So, for the people who know the story, this just seems like me being melodramatic... but I swear to God I'm not.

I'm sitting here now, staring at Red's screenname, crying in attempts to keep myself sane.

I knew things were too good to last.