So, not ten minutes ago I was on the floor in a little ball, hugging my teddy bear, crying harder than I have in months.
I'm not going to go into why.

But for some reason, I got the urge to come to the computer... and turn on some music. I didn't know why, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to listen to unless it was going to further my moment of self-pity.
So I went to turn on some Radiohead... and somehow, hit F instead of R
and ended up at FFH... whom I haven't listened to in years.
So I turned on a song of theirs that I use to be particularly fond of...
and I can't describe it.
Its like one of those spiritual moments where I know things are going to be okay.

I think maybe Jai told Jesus that I needed some extra help.

and I'm still sad... and I'm still on the verge of tears
but I'm not hopeless.
I feel like there's someone here with me now.
Like maybe this is exactly what I was looking for.

I think I'm going to start going to church more often.